Beware of drivers wearing hats.

I recently noticed a pattern which identified bad drivers and should shout out as a warning to all other motorists. It is simple and we need to perform a scientific study to see if this is a cause or is the result of being a bad driver.

The revelation is simply this - "Bad drivers wear hats". The worst cases of driving ineptness I have encountered this week held up this theory.

I was driving along and caught up with a car doing half of the speed limit, when the road was clear and the possibility of overtaking him safely appeared he would move into the middle of the road and speed up. This was an old driver wearing a Trilby. I really don't think he was aware of me following him despite the fact my car is purple, my lights were on and I was honking my horn and waving my arms at him. (OK, so I lied about the horn and my arms but I was nearly tempted!)

Then he turned off and allowed me to continue my journey. Then a young blood in his mothers shopping car which for some reason he had replaced the exhaust pipe with a drain pipe and covered the front wing in stickers of manufacturers who wouldn't even dream of making parts to fit the car he was driving, proceeded to screech out of the petrol station into busy traffic causing cars to swerve and skid all over the road to avoid him. With his generous dissemination of Drum and Bass to the neighbourhood I think he was completely oblivious to the other drivers around him. Did my theory hold up for this driver too? Yes - he was sporting a charming baseball cap which appeared to be facing the wrong way!

Following this an old lady with a dog proceeded to attempt to park at the side of the road managing to get both back wheels on the pavement. I checked out my theory and yes you've guessed it - she was also wearing a hat (a big white floppy one if you are interested!).

So the question that remains is does wearing a hat do something to your brain? Does the heat build up impair your judgement or hamper your social interactions? Or do people with impaired judgement and bad social skills always choose to wear a hat? Is this natures way of warning those around of an approaching moron?