Hitting a pheasant - not very pleasant.

Driving along the motorway the other day I noticed an abnormally large number of pheasant corpses lining the road side. To be honest I didn't really pay too much attention - its just one of those things you notice when something happens.

At cruising speed there is not a lot you can do when something decides to take a Kamikaze run at you. I saw a Pheasant sitting in the central reservation, he seemed to have happily negotiated a busy carriageway of oncoming cars and I imagine his Pheasant friends were egging him on to go the whole way.

It then looked up at me and when it decided was the most optimum moment for a Lemming like run it went for it. Although I jammed on the brakes I sadly hit the bird killing it outright.

Then you start to analyse what happened after the event. It was a bird that I hit. Hang on a minute birds are meant to fly? What was up with this pheasant and I assume all of the other pheasants lining the roadside? Was it some kind of suicide pact? Was it a lemming copycat flock of pheasants? I guess I will never know but I have a cracked number plate and small dent to remind me of this brave little bird that went for it.

Old drivers vs young drivers.

The debate or you might call it the battle between the older and younger drivers continues at TorqueCars. Here are the two sides of the argument.

Young drivers feel that they are invincible take unnecessary risks and should be slowed down or restricted from obtaining a driving licence. Compulsory tests have been suggested as have tougher tests and raising the driving age to 20 years old.

Young drivers often gets tarred with the same brush, whereas in reality only a few drive recklessly and at dangerous speeds. Raising the driving aged 20 will not eradicate the problem just to move it to an older age group. And many young drivers take great care in perfecting the art of driving. Young drivers have generally faster reflexes and older drivers and what they lack experience that make up for with reaction times.

This is a difficult debates to pursue objectively, but as with most disagreements the truth generally lies between the two. Young drivers are inexperienced and it is often experience that teaches an older driver the dangers associated with taking risks behind the wheel of a car.
It is fair to say that's driving tests, particularly in the UK, a much tougher than they used to be years ago. There are many drivers in their seventies and eighties who have never taken a driving test and still failed to grasp the theory of how to use a roundabout or other complex junction systems.

Torquecars can certainly see the benefits of retests two rays general driving standards, particularly a theory test to appraise the drivers grasp of current legislation and modern road systems. We certainly see many of our younger drivers taking an interest in the debates on road safety and TorqueCars continues to promote the SAFE enjoyment of the car.

I'm not a brilliant passenger.

I got a lift this morning to work (I know I had determined to walk more but hey it was really cold! Almost 4.5 degrees!) Here are the thoughts that ran through my head.

"Flipping heck the pedal on the right is progressive not just on or off!
Wow that was close, did the driver realise they were so close to that car.
Hmm, oncoming car. Slow down, sloooooooow. There still coming and we're heading straight for them. Phew I wondered what the pavements were for it was a good job they exist.
Whats that noise, oh yes it is the sound of alloy wheels scraping along the kerb. Is the driver deaf? Oh good were moving out a bit.
Ouch, do you have to aim for every single pot hole in the road.
Sit at junction and wait for a gap.
No don't pull out there's a car coming, oh well if you put your foot down it won't be too bad. Ummm accelerate - they are getting closer. Does this thing have an engine.
Ah traffic lights, slow up then its changing to red. No that's the accelerator. Phew that was close"

Then I get out and say, "thank you for the lift. It was much appreciated!" whilst shaking on the inside and vowing to walk next time. (Providing its not too cold or raining, I do have my price!)

Was I really too spineless to speak up? It is just me or do other people find themselves in this situation where out of politeness they have to bite their tongues?

UK law changes and updated proposals

Firstly I must apologise for not making any block entries for the last 30 days. I've been suffering from a condition known as bloggers brain.

A notice a couple of prominent car related news stories have hit the headlines recently firstly a lady has been in stopped and a prosecuted for driving too slowly on a motorway. If she managed to hit to the incredible speed of 20 miles per hour. She proved to be a danger to herself and other motorists and was seen driving erratically swerving in and out of her lane and jabbing her break on and off. Her licence has been removed and she will need two retake her driving test. This case highlights a number of issues but mainly that of drivers who are no longer healthy enough to drive a car safely. These cautious drivers cause a danger to all those around them, Torquecars members have put forward the suggestion of compulsory RE tests every 10 years for those over the age of 16 which will include a full medical.

I also note this morning the UK law relating two deaths from careless driving will probably be amended from a prison sentence to a community related sentence. Sadly if someone did cause of death from driving without due care and attention, a moment's lapse of concentration, they will have this on their conscience for the rest of their lives. A prison sentence it does seem too harsh in this situation but is without doubt the correct sentence for someone engaged in a case of reckless driving. Causing death by using a mobile telephone whilst driving will be regarded as an act of reckless driving.

Hesitant drivers.

These really wind me up and are a complete nightmare. They are a danger to themselves and all that they encounter. The typical profile goes something like this:-

1. They will not pull out onto a main road if they can see another car coming. (The road has to be completely empty for them!)
2. They will start to pull out and then stop halfway causing an obstruction or overhanging part of the main road.
3. They will see you coming on the main road, wait, and then pull out in front of you. Rather than picking up speed they will dribble along at a really slow pace with a long line of cars behind them.
4. At night they will slow to a crawl if there is an oncoming car. Then when the road is clear and you have an opportunity to overtake they pull out into the center of the road!
5. On roundabouts they will start to pull away then stop dead and will frequently have other drivers going into the back of them. (I know the other drivers are at fault but some blame must be shared by the hesistant driver who stopped for no apparent reason!)
6. Joining the motorway the hesitant driver will park at the end of the slip lane because he hasn't taken an opportunity to pull out and wait for a long gap in the traffic.

I accept that we all make mistakes and will not admit to being perfect. On a daily commute you often encounter the same cars and when they consistantly do the same things you really start to wonder.

I wish that all drivers were retested every 5-10 years and this will help to keep driving standards focussed in peoples minds. We all pick up bad habits but I'm sure we would all be a little more studious if we knew that we were going to have to face a retest every few years. This test will also get a lot of old (incapable) drivers off the road. It is a hard thing to give up your licence, but when you face a danger to yourself and all those around you it is time to concede that it is time to hang up your driving gloves and hat and take the Bus instead.

Clocks go back accidents go up!

The clocks went back last night. I know its not just the UK that does this and it is hailed as an important change especially for agriculture. For the motorist though this has serious implications.

With the clocks moving back an hour we are now driving home in the dark. The accident rates always increase this time of year and many experts and analyists link this with the move of the clock.

Other than the fact that we are now driving home in the dark there could be other implications for this increased accident rate. Firstly our sleep pattern is disturbed, we are now going to bed and getting up an hour later. This disruption to our body clock causes lack of concentration and other effects similar to the jet lag experienced by travellers.

Also our meal times are now shifted. For 6 months of the year our bodies get used to recieving food at a set time but with the time shift we now eat an hour earlier than our body clock is used to. This will generally mean that because we are not used to being hungry at these early times we eat less. As the afternoon progresses we start to get hungry and we either eat concentration sapping high energy foods or drive home feeling hungry with lower blood sugar levels.

It is unlikely that a mass uprising of people will refuse to move their clocks so we are stuck with this ludicrous time system that has little to recommend it just because the farmers and agricultural workers do not wish to start work earlier to take advantage of the lighter mornings!

We can though ensure we get sufficient sleep and before and after a time change we can slowly move our sleep patterns and eating times to allow for a smoother transision. With a little common sense we can breakfast later, take lunch later (eating at the end of our lunch hour instead of infront) and this may help reduce the higher incidence of accidents in the darker evenings.

Winter is coming - I hate winter driving.

Winter is well on it's way. OK I admit it - I hate WINTER. It is cold, wet and dark. Normally I wouldn't mind but we really have not had much of a summer this year. Even my sojourn into France was filled with Dodgy damp weather. But winter has implications for the motorist.

Firstly the cold means that you windscreen will generally be steamed up. Often it will start of perfectly clear but as you pull away and start breathing it quickly becomes a solid sheet of white haze. I hate wiping the screen because it leaves smears and the more times you do this the worse it gets so I park up and rely on my in car heater. (Thankfully it is quite efficient and the screen quickly demists.)

Personally not being a morning person we have the added problem of the sheer cold temperature of the car. If you wear gloves and boots you can't feel the cars controls and a scarf and hat will obscure you view of the road to dangerous levels. Perhaps I should take up hibernation.

When you have ICE to scrape from your windscreen you may have noticed that it is proportionally thicker according to how late you are. Then when it is all removed how many of us use our washers out of habit and this freezes instantly taking you back to square one.

Then as you drive along the road you will notice the trees have been busy throwing their leaves at the road to form a surface more slippery than a greased pig on roller skates! Drive carefully.

As if this wasn't enough the sun joins this conspiracy and stays low in the sky which is a pretty lethal combination with the misty screen. This is even worse when the road is damp as the glare reflects up at you.

Then we have to contend with Snow and Ice in the Winter months. Thankfully I have located an article for winter driving tips so I suggest you read up and prepare for the worst.

Don't blame the car!

A Torquecars member recently said to me, "have you noticed what happens when a man stalls a car?"

I hadn't, but he explained that, "all men will glare at the dashboard as if to see why the car decided it will cut the engine."

Most women drivers will just restart the car without the glare but there is something in the male ego which means they cannot accept responsibility for their errors (not that men make errors!)

This got me thinking back to the days when I was chained to a desk in an insurance office and the theory holds true - it is always the car which is blamed for everything. Here are some excerpts from accident claim forms and they all have one common theme.

The car skidded on ice.
I braked and the car skidded into the other guy.
The car swerved off the road.
The car veered off the road.
The car went out of control.
I couldn't see the other car as it was obscured by my Windscreen pillar.
The cars windows were steamed up.
The car stalled.
The car pulled out.
The car hit the (wall,pedestrian, tree etc...)

I could go on all day with these but it goes to show how reluctant we are to admit blame or responsibility. The common theme in all the above scenarios was the driver was not controlling the car withing the limits of the road.

The word accident should be removed as well as this implies an unavoidable or unpredictable event. This is simply not accurate as nearly all crashes (this is what I'm going to call accidents!) could be avoided if people paid more attention to what was going on around them.

Parking on hills

Today I parked on a pretty steep hill and noticed a difference between what I did and what 99% of other car drivers did. This gives me a great opportunity for a rant and a chance to re-state the patronisingly obvious that most people claim they do but the reality is somewhat different.

Firstly some background information, a car rolling down a hill will cause a lot of damage (just think back to the story of Jack and Jill!) The aim on hills, is to keep the car parked where it is, so when you return it is still in one piece. Is this just me being a bit paranoid? Well when your car has disk brakes all round as most modern cars do, they are subject to the rules of expansion as they get hot. Theoretically then, when you use your brakes a lot the disks warm up, you apply the brake pads to the surface and as the disk cools it contracts thereby loosening the grip of the pads. On a steep hill this can cause it start to roll. Hence the suggestion of what you should when parking on a hill from way back when you learnt to drive.

When parking on a hill, put the car into gear and turn the wheels into the curb or away from the curb depending on whether you are parked facing up hill or down hill. The theory is that if the handbrake fails the engine will help anchor the car and if it rolls it will roll a short way until the wheel hits the kerb and then it stops the car. The worst thing you will find returning to your car is that it has moved a couple of inches.

Now most of the cars I saw didn't bother to rotate their wheels and although I can't tell for sure most seemed to leave the gearstick in neutral.

New british highway code 2007

I see that Britain has a new updated highway code today with some 29 more rules and another 40 pages compared with the last edition. A Torquecars member first gave me the heads up and then I heard reports on the radio this morning. Journalists have seized on an attention grabbing headline which implies something along the lines that smoking in cars is illegal!

In reality it is drivers who cause an accident whilst smoking at the wheel will now be prosecuted for driving without due care and attention. Listening to loud music, talking to passengers, eating food, drinking from a cup or bottle and reading maps are also highlighted as examples of driving without due care and attention (do we really need this pointing out to us!) I have often wondered about smokers - lighting up at the wheel will usually take a great deal of attention from the road and often means taking both hands off the wheel and this seems more dangerous to me than using a mobile phone. At the moment this is just a guideline but we can surely expect smoking in cars by the driver to be formally outlawed. Coming soon a hands free smoking kit to a car part shop near you.

The driving theory test has also got harder with more questions to answer. I wouldn't mind betting that most drivers on the roads today would fail the theory test. Especially judging by the amount of people that can't use a roundabout or even use their indicators correctly. It would not be a bad thing to introduce a compulsory theory retest every 20 years as a refresher course to drivers - a lot of things can change in 20 years.

Tougher penalties apply to motorists who cannot give the details of a driver who was in charge of the car when caught by a speed camera. The owner of the car is now liable to points and a fine if they fail to name the driver. Other minor changes include alterations to the wording about riding horses and bicycles on our roads.

Breakdown personality types.

I've noticed that when people break down in a car they tend to fall into 2 camps. One knows about cars and tries to fix the problem the other knows nothing about cars. The interesting thing though is that both drivers will open the bonnet. The first will also tend to get on the ground and whip out his emergency toolkit and start hammering and banging - the second will just stare and prod things at random.

Why do people do this? Staring at an engine you know nothing about will not fix it? Are these people hoping for some inspiration? A piece of pipe flapping around in the engine bay and a hole to poke it back in is probably the best they can hope for as even they stand a change of fixing it. Perhaps the whole lifting of the bonnet and staring at the engine is a way to prevent appearing helpless and somehow they imagine that passing motorists are quietly impressed at their mechanical skill?

"Whats wrong?" The passengers ask, Mr clueless replies, "its probably an air flow sensor problem!" basing his assumption on the conversation he had with his garage about how his air flow sensor was sticking! A little knowledge is also a dangerous thing, don't poke things in the engine or undo screws unless you know what they do. If a TV breaks down people will get in an expert - they will not just open it up and stare at the internals? Why when a complex piece of machinery like a car breaks down why do they open the bonnet?

Please note that when your engine breaks kicking the tyres will not fix it. So many people kick a cars tyre - it really tells you nothing about the car. When people buy cars they will often kick or prod the tyre with their foot? Why? Tyre pressures are not measured by the bounce or the thud sound? You can't tell about the state of the steering or how frequently a car is serviced from a quick kick of the tyre! If tyre pressures are really low then a visual inspection is all that is required. Torquecars have a wide range of articles aimed at helping newbies find there way around the engine bay and covers the practical aspects of car ownership such as servicing.

Beware of drivers wearing hats.

I recently noticed a pattern which identified bad drivers and should shout out as a warning to all other motorists. It is simple and we need to perform a scientific study to see if this is a cause or is the result of being a bad driver.

The revelation is simply this - "Bad drivers wear hats". The worst cases of driving ineptness I have encountered this week held up this theory.

I was driving along and caught up with a car doing half of the speed limit, when the road was clear and the possibility of overtaking him safely appeared he would move into the middle of the road and speed up. This was an old driver wearing a Trilby. I really don't think he was aware of me following him despite the fact my car is purple, my lights were on and I was honking my horn and waving my arms at him. (OK, so I lied about the horn and my arms but I was nearly tempted!)

Then he turned off and allowed me to continue my journey. Then a young blood in his mothers shopping car which for some reason he had replaced the exhaust pipe with a drain pipe and covered the front wing in stickers of manufacturers who wouldn't even dream of making parts to fit the car he was driving, proceeded to screech out of the petrol station into busy traffic causing cars to swerve and skid all over the road to avoid him. With his generous dissemination of Drum and Bass to the neighbourhood I think he was completely oblivious to the other drivers around him. Did my theory hold up for this driver too? Yes - he was sporting a charming baseball cap which appeared to be facing the wrong way!

Following this an old lady with a dog proceeded to attempt to park at the side of the road managing to get both back wheels on the pavement. I checked out my theory and yes you've guessed it - she was also wearing a hat (a big white floppy one if you are interested!).

So the question that remains is does wearing a hat do something to your brain? Does the heat build up impair your judgement or hamper your social interactions? Or do people with impaired judgement and bad social skills always choose to wear a hat? Is this natures way of warning those around of an approaching moron?

Driving in Rainy weather

In rainy weather beware of aquaplaning. This happens when the tyre is unable to push away the water causing the car to float on a thin layer of water. When this happens the steering will feel lighter and the car will seem to veer on a set course. And you will have no steering or braking control over the car while it is aquaplaning. Do not start Braking, steering or accelerating just ease off the throttle and hopefully grip will have been restored before you hit something.

Flooded roads also present a unique danger. Driving to quickly through a flood will cause water to splash up into the engine components and cause the car to stall.

• Rule 1 is keep your speed down and do not enter a flood unless you are sure the car can get through it.
• Rule 2 is keep the engine revs up - dip the clutch if you want to slow up. If you lift off the accelerator you run the risk of sucking water in to the engine and a water filled engine will require a complete engine rebuild

Be especially careful on bends and corners and on poor quality road surfaces as these can exacerbate the problem of aquaplaning. Try also to stay in the swathe cut by the car in front as the road will usually be a little dryer. If you have a 4x4 you will notice the acceleration is still good in the wet but you must remember that braking and steering will still be poor so do not drive beyond the safe limits of control. Also check you have plenty of tread depth on your tyres the more the better.

For more driving tips on coping with weather conditions read the Torquecars article this blog page inspired on Driving in weather hazards.

The road is Long....

From time to time we all have long journeys to make in our cars. The longest drive we do tend to be our annual holidays and we really should prepare well for this unusual test of our endurance.

Get a good nights sleep the night before. Tiredness is one of the biggest accident causers on our road. The hassle and worry of the journey and packing for our holiday usually prevent us from getting a good nights sleep. Unwind before you go to sleep - read a book. Don't drink coffee or do any strenuous exercises before you go to bed as this is likely to keep you up. Keep a notepad by the bed so if you wake up and remember something you have to pack you can note it down and go back to sleep rather than laying awake and worrying about it.

Prepare well. You will be using roads you are unfamiliar with and you really need to have planned your route carefully and have in mind the main towns and cities so you can make snap decisions at complicated junctions and at least take the exit that keeps you going the right way. There are a number of excellent online route planners.

Rest. After the first 3 hours take a 15 minute break. Walk around, get a coffee. As the journey goes on you need to brake more frequently so I would suggest another break at 5.5 hours in to the journey and then 7 hours and then 8.5 in to the journey. If you feel tired then take a nap (pull over in a safe place to do so and lock the cars doors and leave a window slightly open if there are more than 2 occupants in the car) - a 30 minute nap is often all you need to keep you going another few hours.

Entertainment. Take some music or audio books to keep your mind occupied and take an interest in your surroundings, noticing landmarks and other cars. When you get bored you will notice that tiredness kicks in much more quickly.

Make sure the car is serviced before you go. If there are any unusual noises from the suspension or engine get this addressed before you leave. Top up the washer fluid and check the oil levels - nothing consumes oil as much as a long journey at fast constant speeds. Take a spare bottle of oil with you.

Road rage triggers and how to avoid it!

What sort of things trigger road rage? It is something we have all experienced at one time or another and either been on the receiving end of it or dishing it out ourselves. Many Torquecars members report horrific and scary incidents involving road rage.

When we get into our cars we enjoy our freedom, the space inside the car is ours and we expect to be able to go where we want to when we want. If there is some external obsticle infringing on our freedom we may start to get frustrated. Anger is the human response to stress and some people control stress better than others. We obviously need to be more tolerant of other road users and forgiving of their mistakes. Good anticipation will allow us to avoid many pitfalls that can create problems for other motorists.

To avoid becoming a victim of road rage.
Drive considerately, letting other drivers join the traffic flow where safe to do so. Avoid erratic driving, frequent changing of lanes and sudden changes of speed. Anthing that draws attention to yourself potentially makes you a victim for road rage. Even driving a flashy or agressive looking car can create an angry response from other drivers where a normal looking car would have been largely ignored. Never drive at a speed substantially higher than the other motorists around you. Never block another car joining the traffic flow or cut into a traffic lane at the last possible minute. Avoid cutting up other drivers or causing them to take evasive action.

Avoid following the car in front too closely - remember that need for personal space still applies when we are in a car. Only overtake when it is safe to do so as cutting in at the last minute or causing the car we are overtaking to take evasive action are major precursors to road rage incidents.

If you have done something silly raise a palm as an apology and that often diffuses the anger of the car behind.

You may drive a car that is playing up and unable to maintain a steady speed, so pulling over and letting cars pass you will prevent the frustration and anger from building up. This includes the drivers of agricultural machinery and caravan drivers.

Obsessive tendancies In a car.

We all have little rituals and to a degree we all have bit of compulsive behavior disorder. It is good to be regimented orderly and tidy, but we need to be careful that it does not start to take over our lives. This is a fairly tongue in cheek article that contains little in the way of real phsychology and is not intended to be anything more than an amusing diversion.
Here are some of the things to look out for.

When Parking.

We have to park in middle of a space even if this means we go forwards and backwards a number of times.All wheels must be parallel to the kerb so we would never leave the car with our front wheels at an angle. The distance from the kerb must be equal on the front or back. When parking up we also ensure that the Steering wheel must always be straight. We cannot let the wipers rest unless they are in the parked position at the bottom of the screen. We would even restart the ignition to ensure that the wipers are correctly resting. We touch each pedal a set number of times with our feet as we turn off the engine, blip the accelerator or depress the clutch pedal.

Before we set off.

All of the vents must be set in a symmetrical pattern, if the outer ones are pointing up so must the inner ones. If the left one is pointing left we just dont feel right until the right one is pointing left to mirror it. We make sure that the mats in the car are all straight and that the headrests are all at the same height.

When driving along.

You tap or wiggle your left foot, or clench your jaw each time you pass a lamp post, mailbox or other marker.We try (especially in the wet) to make sure our tyres go over the same bit of road as the car in front.

General.

We get annoyed when the tyre valves do not line up.

None of these in themselves are a problem but if we start to become obsessive over them or are guilty of a significant number of these we need to be careful that this does not develop into a major problem. We could test ourself out by forcibly breaking the rule/behaviour pattern that we are having trouble with.

Phsycology of thanking other drivers

The way we thank other drivers for letting us go through tells a lot about our personality:- Interested to hear your impression on these and any others you think of (keep the gestures friendly though ).

• Nod - Nervous driver typically too scared to take hands off the wheel.
• Thumbs up - Younger hot hatch driver who has just taken advantage (Cheeky person).
• Full Palm - The older Jaguar driver usually does this (Denote confidence).
• Wave of the Hand - an old Jedi mind trick useful when you are in a hurry!
• Thumb and little finger extended with bend wrist - Gangster tendancies shown usually by a wannabee rapper!
• Index finger raised - Usually done when other driver has only just managed to realise he has to give way - a token thanks.
• Index and first finger raised. - A Bit PAPAL this one again typically done by the older driver in a Mercedes who actually owns the road you are on!
• Both Hands wave - Muppet style thanks - you recognised the other driver and they are oblivious to who you are. (This one is fun to do to see the reaction. One Torquecars member reported "just thought i'd let you know i tried the muppet wave tonight......a word of warning to other drivers, do not try this at home.....the guy i done the muppet wave at was so shocked that he just missed hitting his jag off the railings")
• Flash of the lights - All social interaction is shunned by these loners - all their holiday pics are of scenes with no people in them.
• V Sign (backwards) - Churchill style Victory salute 'cos you won the game of chicken.

The List goes on and on - but we are firm belivers that the way you thank other drivers says a lot more about your personality than you would like to admit! Please visit the Torquecars site for original articles on driving, tuning and styling cars (a bit more serious than this one) we would also encourage you to consider becomming a member and getting involved in topical motorist related discussion in the forum.

Naked roads - the arguement for and against.

Naked roads are hailed as the answer to all of our traffic and driving woes. The basic premise of a naked road is that all road markings, signs, traffic lights etc are removed. All traffic calming measures, barriers, cycle lanes and even pedestrian area markings are removed.

This sounds like chaos and anarchy but the reality of the situation is that motorists wake up. They are no longer cukooned in a safe unthinking stream of traffic they are forced to pay very careful attention. In a number of trials the frequency of accidents and incidents was reduced by upto a third has increased and the speed of traffic is reduced by around 4 mph - a big plus all round.

No-one knows for sure the long term implications and the trials continue. It is possible that when the novelty wears off drivers will again start going with the flow in an unthinking manner and the incident of accidents will increase as unfamiliar drivers thread their way through the local traffic. So in short as far as I'm concerned the jury is still out but it is an intriguing notion that could well catch on.

What are the things that passengers do that really wind you up when you are driving? We all have our little pet hates and in most cases drivers make terrible passengers. If you ever get into my car please note the following:-

Don't touch my radio that includes turning it up or down.
Stop screaming at everything that comes towards us... hang on, no, it's me who does that. Erm... Sharp intakes of breath, or going "Oh my Goodness" and when I say "WHAT?!!??!!!!!" the answer comes "I've forgot to wash something" or something else that's completely unrelated to my driving and frightens the life out of me because I think maybe she's seen an out of control petrol tanker on a collision course with us that I've somehow missed.
Don't you just love it when someone draws on the on the condensation on your windows - the little smiley face comes back week after week.
Dont give driving advice either - I'm the one with the steering wheel. Back seat drivers are pests.
I especially hate it if I have my parents in the passenger seat. They leaps for the grab handle if you take even the merest change in course at more than 5mph. Bends that you could negotiate in the wet at 100mph are treated like downhill hairpins. And if you come off the pavement you really get some stick!....

Please note I always follow the direction on my driving licence. "tear along the dotted line...."